This is the D&D that I want.
.we were low on food, so the hobo started foraging. He came upon some strawberries, but upon eating them we discovered that he had botched his skill check and these were, in point of fact, stabberries. Everyone took d6 damage, and the luchador failed his gastric save, leaving him vomiting and incapacitated for 6d10 minutes. In this moment of weakness, we were ambushed by Curvy Cats, but the brave toaster managed to hold them off until the wizard managed to conjure a stack of giant pancakes in the air that flattened the cats like… well, pancakes. From there we hit the treasure table and came away with a roll of pennies, some candy corn, a birdcage, and a squishy pig.